


Cat and Wolf

by Ledgea



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Animal Transformation, Cat Aiden, Curses, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, Poor Eskel, Poor Vesemir, Vesemir's POV, wolf lambert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ledgea/pseuds/Ledgea
Summary: Vesemir likes the peace and quiet of a summer alone at Kaer Morhen. So he's a bit annoyed when a cursed into a wolf Lambert disturbs his peace. And the Cat that is accompanying him clearly doesn't make the situation better.Cue stupid shenanigans, cuteness and some petting.
Relationships: Aiden & Lambert & Vesemir, Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Lambert & Vesemir
Comments: 28
Kudos: 196





	Cat and Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy!!  
> Some more Laiden because they just inspire me so much and I love them!!  
> Took some inspiration from my old grumpy cat and from my young energetic dog :D :p  
> Also poor tired Vesemir :p

Vesemir likes summer. It's probably his favorite time of the year. He's alone in Kaer Morhen, which suits him just fine, but he's certainly not bored. He has the poultry to take care of and Eskel's goats to watch over, his vegetable garden needs tending to and he never comes back empty-handed from his hunts in the woods around the keep.

He takes advantage of the peace and quiet to smoke most of the meat he brings back and to pickle or dry a good part of his harvest. He always makes sure to dry some strawberries for Eskel, to pickle radishes for Lambert and to collect nuts for Geralt in the fall. For himself he makes sure to always plant some peas, despite knowing that the harvest is never plentiful, but it's one of his guilty pleasures. And when he's done for the day with his tasks, he drags a chair on the battlements and settles there with a book and a glass of brandy until the sun sets.

That is not to say that he hates the other seasons, but he's always found spring and fall to be too wet for his liking and while he likes having his mentees back for the winter, they always leave him a bit exhausted after a few weeks. So yes, he likes summer.

Thus when he hears the soft sound of a horse coming up the trail to Kaer Morhen in the middle of summer, he's a bit peeved, annoyed that someone would bother him this early in the season. Concern quickly replaces annoyance though when the only reason he can think of for one of his mentees to come back home early is that they're badly injured.

So Vesemir abandons his half full basket of cherry plum in the orchard hidden behind the keep and hurries towards the gates. By the time he reaches them, he finds a horse in the courtyard with a cat sitting on its saddle and whose reins are held in a wolf's mouth.

“What the fuck ?”, Vesemir mutters to himself as he slowly unsheathes the sword that never leaves his side.

The wolf lets go of the reins, growls at him and takes a step back, and the damn horse doesn't even move. Vesemir then takes a moment to inspect the horse, is astonished to recognize Lambert's mare and he crouches down to try to take a better look at the wolf who's hiding behind her legs.

He finds two very familiar amber eyes on the wolf's face and Vesemir can spot two witcher medallions hanging from his neck. He furrows his brows, squints at him and wonders if he's hallucinating or maybe growing senile. That certainly can't be Lambert. And even if it is, then who would the cat be ?

He straightens up again and slowly walks towards the mare. The Wolf growls again and continues to back away and Vesemir stops next to the horse. He feels his medallion faintly vibrate against his chest when he touches the cat and he's only slightly surprised when the animal hisses at him, jumps off the horse and runs towards the wolf. Vesemir sighs and resigns himself to face the facts.

“Lambert ?”, he gently calls the wolf and crouches back down.

The wolf perks up, raises his head to meet his eyes and nods. He then takes a step forward but Vesemir tuts at him.

“Oh no, not that easy, I want to be sure that it's really you first. Your bedchamber is on the second or the third floor ?”, Vesemir asks and raises first his left and then his right hand so that the wolf can easily answer him.

The wolf whines, sits down and nods towards Vesemir's right hand.

“Good,” Vesemir nods and feels a little bit stupid talking to a wolf, “Who destroyed the kitchen's bench last year ? You or Geralt ?”

The wolf whines again, lies down and actually puts his paws in front of his eyes while the cat rubs himself against him and licks his snout.

“Come on right for you, left for Geralt. We both know it wasn't Eskel even if you both tried to pin it on him.”

He has the distinct impression the wolf glares at him once he gets his paws down and he nods towards his right hand.

“Knew it,” Vesemir grumbles under his breath and adds, “You're a menace.”

The wolf just whines and rolls on his back showing him his belly.

“Not going to work,” Vesemir mutters, “Anyway who's your friend ? Eskel or Geralt ?”

Lambert quickly sits up again at the question and stares straight at him.

“Neither ?”, Vesemir asks and sighs when he gets a nod in return.

The cat sports the same amber eyes as them though, so Vesemir would bet his right arm that he's another witcher.

“Is he another witcher or just a cat ?”

Lambert nods towards the hand meaning other witcher and the cat glares at him, hisses and takes a seat between the wolf's legs. When Vesemir warily approaches them, Lambert growls warningly at him and he sheathes his sword back.

“He's a friend I take it ?”, he asks and waits for the nod, “Then he has nothing to fear from me.”

Lambert nods again, lets him come closer and Vesemir scratches his ears soflty. Lambert's fur is completely black and soft and he leans into the caress. Vesemir chuckles at his behaviour and doesn't expect Lambert to take offense, growl and move fast enough to catch him by surprise and trap his hand between his powerful jaws. Vesemir takes a deep breath and stays very still as he feels Lambert's pointy teeth on his skin. He's not biting though, just threatening, and slowly releases him after a few seconds.

“Still as bad tempered as usual, I see,” Vesemir comments and wipes his hand on his trousers.

He then bends down and takes the medallions off Lambert's neck. The wolf and the cat immediately bark and hiss at him, but Vesemir ignores them. He recognizes Lambert's medallion with its scratches easily, but is a bit dumbfounded to find the other one belonging to a Cat, which he shouldn't be, because if a Wolf got turned into a wolf, then it makes sense that a Cat would end up turned into a cat.

He sighs again, gives the medallions back to Lambert and takes advantage of his distraction to snatch the cat up by the back of his neck. The cat hisses at him angrily, wriggles around and swipes at him with his claws out and Lambert is growling at him again and Vesemir shakes his head.

“You're welcome in Kaer Morhen,” he tells the cat, which is maybe even weirder than talking to the wolf, “Do not betray us and everything will be fine.”

The cat spits at him and Vesemir sets him back down on the ground. Lambert immediately jumps forward, sniffs the cat and licks him all over the face. The cat pitifully meows and Lambert licks him again until his fur is completely wet and disgusting and Vesemir rolls his eyes at their antics. He decides to leave them be for now and to take care of Lambert's horse, the poor mare probably deserves it.

He takes his time settling the mare, gives her a good thorough brushing and takes some time to snoop through the bags she's been carrying. He finds two sets of witcher's swords, two potions' kits and some clothes. There are a few things missing though, namely the numerous daggers Lambert likes to take with him or his bombs or their armours and the amount of clothes he finds clearly isn't big enough to belong to two witchers. They probably had to abandon some of their things on the way then and Vesemir takes note to make sure that they'll be perfectly equipped to go back to the Path the next spring.

When he comes back from the stables, Lambert and the cat are lounging together in front of the keep's entrance and they follow him inside silently. He leads the way to Lambert's room and refrains from chuckling when the wolf grabs the cat by the scruff of his neck to carry him upstairs. The cat makes his displeasure known by hissing and spitting and hits Lambert on the snout with one of his paws once he's released on the third floor landing.

Lambert dramatically whines and the cat hits him again before following Vesemir with his head held high. He shows Lambert's room to the cat, who immediately jumps on the bed and makes himself comfortable while Vesemir dumps their bags on his mentee's desk. Lambert slinks into the room silently, stares at the cat on his bed and Vesemir wonders if he'll have to find the other witcher another room, before he jumps on the bed too and curls around the cat, who opens one eye, closes it again and starts to purr.

Vesemir shakes his head at the sight, doesn't really understand what is happening and leaves them be for now. He heads to the kitchen to see if he has anything suitable to offer his guests for supper and then wonders how he's going to pry the story of what happened out of Lambert. He'll have to think about simple questions and continue to use the right and left hands system that seemed to work well. He's fairly certain that they're cursed and he just hopes that it'll be easy to break or will fade on its own with time. He doesn't want to be stuck in Kaer Morhen with a temperental cat and an angry wolf longer than what is necessary.

By the time supper is done, Vesemir has a headache. He had been glad to find some leftover meat, had made an effort to reduce some of it into mush for the cat who had appreciated his effort, but had still tried to steal some of Lambert's meat. Once they had been done, Lambert had run after the cat until he had caught him and had licked him until the cat had pathetically meowed loud enough to be left alone.

And once Lambert had been done, Vesemir had demanded his attention and asked his questions. He's now sure that the both of them have been cursed because they had annoyed a sorceress, Lambert is sure that the curse will break on its own before winter and he doesn't want Vesemir to try to break it in fear of making it worse. Vesemir had been a little insulted at the lack of faith.

So when his interrogation is done, Vesemir takes care of the dishes, pours himself a glass of brandy, snatches up the book he's been reading and heads for the battlements. He's surprised when Lambert and the cat join him an hour later and they both settle silently next to him. The cat stays still for a few minutes, before he starts kneading Lambert's back. Lambert doesn't seem bothered by it and when he lets out a small huff, the cat stops his ministrations, sits next to his snout and starts to lick his head from his ears to his nose.

Vesemir has a feeling they know each other well, because he's almost sure that not even Eskel or Geralt would be allowed to do what the cat is doing to Lambert. When it becomes too dark to read, Vesemir goes back inside and leaves Lambert and his friend sprawled over the battlements together.

He's woken up in the middle of the night by Lambert angrily howling under his window and when he goes back down, he finds him stuck outside. He grumbles but opens the door anyway and the cat darts inside closely followed by Lambert. They run between his legs and almost send him to the floor and Vesemir bellows after them to _calm the fuck down_. They don't bother turning back around and when he goes to check on them, he finds them curled up together in Lambert's bed.

Vesemir is understandably testy in the morning and it doesn't get better. The cat disappears in the morning and Lambert becomes unbearable. He runs left and right looking for him, sniffs every corner of the keep, whines every few minutes and when they find a dead mouse left on the kitchen table at midday, Vesemir grunts and Lambert cries and curls up under a chair looking decidedly sad.

Vesemir can't take any more of his pining and in the afternoon he shamelessly abandons him in the courtyard while he goes to check on his vegetable garden. He's vaguely annoyed to find the damn cat sleeping in the rows of green beans he planted and he picks him up to bring him back to Lambert. His mentee is overjoyed at first, until he remembers that his friend had ignored him all morning and then decides to ignore him in turn.

Lambert's new dismissive attitude doesn't please the cat at all and Vesemir disappears back to his garden when the cat starts hissing. He works a bit more slowly than usual in the garden, waters his plants, collects some strawberries and raspberries, plucks the rest of the ripe cherry plums and an armful of spinach for his supper.

He crosses the courtyard silently, doesn't see the wolf or the cat and goes inside looking right and left hoping not to bother them. He finds them in the kitchen sprawled under the table with one of Lambert's heavy paws pinning the cat to the floor. Vesemir ignores them, they can deal with their attitudes on their own, and busies himself making supper. He then goes back out to enjoy the evening and this time makes sure to force his unwanted guests inside before going to bed.

They settle into some sort of routine in the next few days. The cat apparently spends his morning hunting mouses and rats in the keep, which he leaves in the kitchen for them to find at midday. Lambert spends the first week's mornings playing with pieces of wood in the courtyard, before he drags them to the baskets next to the many fireplaces of the keep. It would be nice if he didn't leave dirt and pieces of bark all over the castle in his endeavour.

When Vesemir has had enough of cleaning after Lambert he sends him off in the woods to hunt his and the cat's meals. It apparently pleases him and he always makes sure to come back with a good catch. In the afternoon, Vesemir always finds the cat sleeping somewhere in his garden and he dumps him at Lambert's feet for them to growl and spit and run after each other until they tire themselves out. They spend their evenings together on the battlements in quiet silence and it clearly is Vesemir's favorite part of the day.

It takes three weeks for their routine to change. Lambert refuses to go hunting one morning and Vesemir leaves him be in the entrance hall, because he has a feeling screaming himself hoarse will not help with his stubborn mentee's attitude. When he comes back for dinner, he finds a rat next to the kitchen's hearth and Lambert is sleeping on one of Eskel's shirts.

“Now, where did you find that ?”, Vesemir sighs at him, “Come on, give it back. It certainly isn't yours.”

Lambert growls at him and darts outside with the shirt firmly held in his jaws and Vesemir knows when a battle isn't worth fighting. He lets him be and concentrates on his meal instead of Lambert's shenanigans. When he finds the cat perched high in a tree in the afternoon, he doesn't feel like climbing after him. Luckily he only has to tell him that Lambert stole one of his brother's shirt for the damn fiend to hiss angrily, jump down and run towards the keep.

When Vesemir comes back, expecting to find utter chaos, he instead happens upon Lambert and his friend curled up together in front of the keep's entrance. Eskel's shirt lies discarded a few meters away and Vesemir grumbles as he bends down to pick it up.

He wrinkles his nose as soon as he approaches and realizes that it was liberally pissed on. He glares at the two stupid witchers contentedly dozing together and the cat, as if sensing Vesemir's gaze on them, opens his eyes, yawns, deliberatly and slowly licks Lambert's snout and goes back to sleep. Vesemir's eye twitches and he makes sure to disturb them as he heads into the keep.

On the next day, the cat clings to Lambert and doesn't even try to escape him even as he hisses at him when the wolf decides to give him his third tongue bath of the day. Lambert looks as much smug as a wolf can. On the day after that things go back to normal until the cat decides to jump into Vesemir's lap in the evening.

He's quietly reading his book, enjoying the last few sunny days before he'll have to relocate inside, when the cat lands in his lap and starts to knead his thighs. Vesemir freezes, it's the first time he has a cat in his lap and even if it's not a real cat, he doesn't know what to do. But apparently he doesn't need to do much, the cat kneads his thighs, purrs and looks straight at Lambert with what Vesemir can only describe as a smug attitude.

It takes him a few minutes to request to be petted and Vesemir awkwardly scratches his head. He takes a look at Lambert, checking that he won't end up with a lapful of angry wolf, but the his mentee just looks at them with big sad eyes until he turns around without even a whine and disappears down the battlements. The cat immediately stops purring and meows angrily at Vesemir.

“Go after him,” he grunts at the cat.

The cat meows once again and clearly hesitates.

“Go on,” Vesemir insists, “He certainly won't welcome me.”

The cat nods, licks his hand and jumps down. He runs back down after Lambert and Vesemir shakes his head at him. He doesn't know what game he and Lambert are playing. To him, it looks like they're trying to make each other jealous and he wonders why they can't just cohabit peacefully. They're definitely friends, so Vesemir wonders why they're working so hard on annoying one another. He'll probably never understand them though, so he abandons this train of thought and gets back to his book.

Lambert and his friend seem to have made peace again on the morrow and they spend their day together, chasing or licking each other and sleeping together under the sun. The only word Vesemir can think of to describe them now is cute, which is a word he never would have thought to one day apply to Lambert. Clearly he still hasn't seen everything this life has to offer.

They accompany him again in the evening and while Vesemir reads and savors his glass of brandy, Lambert gently licks the cat's fur and then lets his friend lick him in return. Vesemir fondly shakes his head at their behaviour but leaves them be. By the time they're done, the cat is purring, Lambert's tail is thumping on the stone and Vesemir thinks that they'll go to sleep curled up together.

So he's rather surprised when Lambert picks up the cat and deposits him on his lap. Vesemir freezes, doesn't know what is happening and slowly scratches the cat's head when he's sure Lambert won't take offense. The cat continues to purr, sprawls over his knees and Vesemir spends a truly delightful hour carding his fingers through his soft fur. Once the hour is up, Lambert demands his attention and Vesemir has to pet him until he decides to go to bed.

To his unending surprise, Lambert dumps the cat in his lap every evening after that and Vesemir discovers the joy of petting such a cute soft animal. It makes him wish he could find a true cat who wouldn't be afraid him, but as he knows that it probably won't ever happen, he enjoys taking care of this weird witcher-cat while he can.

He soon learns that the cat loves to have his ears and the sides of his neck scratched, but that he hates having his fur stroked the wrong way. When the cat's tail starts to swing left and right and his eyes are blown wide, he knows that he needs to be cautious lest his hands end up scratched and bitten. He usually lets the cat play with his shirt's ties or puts him down to swipe at Lambert's thumping tail when he's too excited.

The cat's belly is a weird zone too, sometimes the witcher will offer it to him to be petted without trouble and other times he'll growl for no good reason after a moment and attack Vesemir's hands. Vesemir then has to fight to make the cat let go and he usually ends up bleeding from small puncture wounds.

While Vesemir enjoys the cat's company, Lambert will lie down at his feet and doze until he can't take it anymore and then asks to be petted himself. Vesemir has to scratch his head and his neck and his back and even sometimes his belly until sunset and gets growled at – and hissed at by the cat too – if his ministrations aren't deemed satisfactory.

And on one memorable night, Lambert tries to climb up in Vesemir's lap too and the cat hisses at being squished and Vesemir gets the air punched out of his lungs and the wolf's wriggling around actually breaks the chair and they all end up sprawled in a pile on the battlements. Vesemir berates Lambert, but the chuckles he can't quite contain certainly don't seem to scare his mentee.

They don't bother dragging another chair out after the incident. Summer is slowly coming to an end and the evenings are getting chilly, so Vesemir is happy enough to relocate in the kitchen. He doesn't want to start making fires this soon in the season, but he has no trouble setting up a cozy nest made of blankets in front of the hearth. The cat is delighted by the soft covers and Vesemir often finds him hiding under them, with or without the wolf, during the day. Lambert definitely likes the new set up too and he takes great delight in curling around Vesemir's back or sprawling over his legs in the evenings.

But even if Vesemir enjoys his evenings with the cat and the wolf, he's still a bit worried about their condition. It's been weeks now, and it won't be long before Eskel and Geralt will come home, but Lambert and his friend haven't shown any sign of turning back into witchers anytime soon. On some days, Vesemir even wonders if he's talking to two witchers or if he has inadvertantly adopted a cat and a wolf. It would make for an awkward meeting were Lambert to walk back into the keep in a few days.

He gets into the habit of checking that he's still dealing with witchers and not animals, and he's somewhat reassured by the fact that their cognitive functions don't seem to be deteriorating. Lambert and the cat understand him perfectly, they answer his questions correctly and even if they act like a cat and a wolf, they assure him that they still feel completely human. The certainty that they're not losing their consciousness is the only thing preventing him from insisting they try to forcefully break the curse.

Their transformation back into witchers actually takes him by surprise. He doesn't witness it and is eating some porridge, wondering why Lambert and the cat aren't already here – they're always up early and trying to steal some of his breakfast – when a naked man he doesn't know enters the kitchen. Vesemir chokes on his porridge, forces his eyes to focus on the man's face afraid to see something he shouldn't and he loudly clears his throat.

“Hello,” Vesemir mumbles and then stupidly asks, “Cat ?”

“Aiden ? Where are you ?”, Lambert's loud yell prevents the man from answering but at least allows Vesemir to learn his name.

“Kitchen !”, Aiden bellows back and takes a seat at the table and nods at Vesemir, “Hi. Thank you for your hospitality. I'm Aiden.”

“Vesemir,” he answers as the kitchen's door is violently thrown open and a naked Lambert enters.

“Oh, you're here,” he says and stalks up to Aiden to sit close to him, “Don't disappear on me like that.”

“You're a grown man, Lambert, you're supposed to be able to live without me.”

“I can,” Lambert splutters, “I just... I was worried, alright ? I only just got you back.”

“You're sweet,” Aiden says, smiles and kisses Lambert's cheek under Vesemir's puzzled stare, “I'm not going anywhere though.”

“Good,” Lambert nods and then turns back toward Vesemir, “Old man, thanks for taking care of us.”

“You're welcome.”

“Tell anyone about what happened and I'll stab you.”

Vesemir rolls his eyes at the threat but is still glad to find out that Lambert didn't lose his surly attitude. He doesn't deign to answer him and pushes the porridge towards Aiden and Lambert. By the heated glances they keep throwing each other and the smell of arousal slowly building between them, Vesemir can safely bet that they're actually more than friends and he decides to leave them be for today, they deserve some time to reconnect after their ordeal.

That still doesn't prevent him from yelling _clothes_ at them when they get back up and he gets an eyeful of two quickly hardening pricks.

“What ?”, Lambert asks him before leaving.

“Clothes,” Vesemir grumbles and looks up at the ceiling, “You know trousers, shirts, things you wear when you get out of your bedroom.”

Lambert and Aiden look down at themselves, give each other a long once-over and then the idiots both blush.

“Oh, crap,” Aiden says.

“Sorry,” Lambert adds, “We'll try to remember it.”

Vesemir nods at the ceiling and waves them out of the kitchen.

“It's so weird,” he hears Aiden say to Lambert in the hallway, “I just felt so comfortable and didn't even notice something was missing.”

Vesemir doesn't hear Lambert's answer to that but he rolls his eyes anyway. Idiots the both of them. He has to concede though that some side effects are to be expected after spending months as animals, so he decides to be lenient with them for a few days.

And indeed Vesemir's patience is soon stretched to its limits. He quickly learns that Aiden and Lambert need to be reminded about the need to wear clothes everyday after breakfast and he catches them gently licking each other's faces or chasing each other several times a day.

There are some awkward incidents too. Aiden licks Vesemir's hand two days after he turns human again and he squeaks and runs away embarrassed when he realizes what he just did. The next day Vesemir witnesses Lambert trying to run on all fours in the courtyard and he has to run away and hide from his mentee to go laugh alone and avoid being stabbed by the prickly witcher who probably wouldn't appreciate being made fun of.

But once Vesemir gets used to Aiden and Lambert's quirks, everything goes back to normal. They readily help maintaining the keep and spar late in the evenings to build their force back up and recover the reflexes they lost as animals. Vesemir usually sits nearby when they spar, offers advice and has to force them to stop lest they tire or injure themselves needlessly. And then he fetches the brandy and they spend some time together before heading to bed.

Eskel's arrival two weeks after Aiden and Lambert turned back into witchers somewhat disrupts their routine. Vesemir is in the garden, harvesting the last cabbages, when he hears Lambert greet his brother in the courtyard. He finishes his task, gets up and by the time he goes looking for Eskel the courtyard is empty. He heads inside to the kitchen and goes to hug Eskel, before ordering Aiden to put the cabbages away in the pantry. Lambert follows him and takes the time to point at him threateningly before miming keeping quiet to Vesemir.

“What the fuck happened here ?”, Eskel asks him in a whisper once Aiden and Lambert have disappeared.

“Lambert brought a friend.”

“Yes, no, that's a bit weird but fine,” Eskel says and runs his hand over his face, “It's just... He seems odd. Like he's hiding something.”

“Can't say anything,” Vesemir smirks, “You'll have to pry that story out of them.”

Eskel groans.

“I don't think I want to know then.”

“Suit yourself,” Vesemir says and shrugs, “Any news of Geralt ?”

“He's a few hours behind me,” Eskel says, “I saw his fire on the way up.”

“Good.”

Aiden and Lambert come back after that and they all help out to prepare supper. Once the stew is put over the fire and the meat pies in the oven, Eskel leaves them to go put his belongings away. Aiden gets the dice out to pass the time, Lambert fetches three bottles of beer and Vesemir sits with them planning to enjoy his evening.

“LAMBERT,” Eskel's enraged cry shatters the silence two minutes later.

“What did you do now ?”, Vesemir asks.

“Nothing !”, Lambert exclaims and nervously looks at the kitchen's door.

“LAMBERT, come here you little prick,” Eskel bellows again and he seems closer.

“I swear I didn't do anything,” Lambert whines, gets up, opens the window and takes a stand next to his new emergency exit.

When Eskel comes back, he's fuming and he points a dagger at Lambert.

“You !”, he yells, “You pissed in my bed !”

Vesemir closes his eyes and brings his hand up to rub the bridge of his nose.

“What ?”, Lambert asks, clearly puzzled, “No, you lunatic. That's disgusting.”

“Oh, shit,” Aiden mutters and hurriedly gets up to join Lambert.

“What ?”, Eskel and Lambert snap at him.

“It was Lambert's fault,” Aiden says and jumps out of the window.

“Oi, asshole,” Lambert screams and jumps after him, “I never told you to piss in Eskel's bed !”

“You were covered in his scent,” Aiden bellows back as Eskel follows Lambert, a murderous expression still stuck on his face, “You did it on purpose !”

“You were avoiding me !”, Lambert yells back.

“You _shits_ ,” Eskel howls, “Wait until I get my hands on you, you're both dead !”

“You wanted to make me jealous,” Vesemir hears Aiden say from quite a few ways away.

“You fucking started it !”, Lambert screams.

“It wasn't my fault,” Aiden adds, “I was a cat. It seemed logical ! Hey ! Oh ! Lambert ! Your brother made me bleed !”

“Serves you right ! Ouch ! Eskel ! I didn't piss in your bed !”

“I'm pretty sure that it was your fault anyway !”, Eskel yells.

Vesemir hears them move away from the keep and shakes his head at their idiocy. He feels a little bit guilty too, because he maybe should have thought about checking Eskel and Geralt's rooms after the shirt incident. He hopes Lambert didn't piss in Geralt's bed.

“Hey,” Geralt says as he knocks on the doorjamb and startles Vesemir out of his thoughts, “What did I miss ?”

Vesemir can't help but chuckle.

“Good to see you home, Geralt,” he greets him and motions for him to join him, “Lambert was a little shit.”

“Seems pretty usual to me,” Geralt comments and steals Lambert's beer.

“You know what, Geralt ?”, Vesemir ponders, smiles and shakes his head, “It's a bit more complicated than that, but for once you're right.”


End file.
